Know What You Believe by Paul Little

If you're a Christian and, like most Christians, are confused and/or ignorant about what you believe; haven't a clue, really, as to what (or what you should) believe; believe, that is, as it pertains specifically to Sola Scriptura, then, never fear, Pilgrim, for Paul E. Little's Christian classic, Know What You Believe, is here! Here to help you and enlighten you one easy-to-read page at a time.

While reading Know What You Believe, you'll learn the Absolute Truth and nothing but the Absolute Truth (and how to tell the Absolute Truth from an Absolute Lie) as it pertains to Kingdom Come. This process of discerning Doctrinal Truth from Theological Error is known as Apologetics in Christian circles. "Apologetics," when used in conjunction with "Christian," doesn't mean that Christian's are apologizing for what they believe (may it never be!), but instead are providing sound, well-reasoned arguments and rationale for the beliefs they believe. "Always be prepared to give an answer for the hope that lies within you," from one of the Books of Timothy, is the Scriptural foundation from which the architecture of Apologetics, as espoused by Little, rises into this dark and depraved world like a lighthouse's high-powered beams of light searching the blackest night; as envisioned in a Thomas Kinkade painting, say, illuminating and conquering sin as the pure, pastel radiance of the gloriously ubiquitous painting overcomes the powers of perdition as surely as David slew Goliath, as surely as the Apostle Paul went blind, and as surely as Rahab hid the spies.

After reading Know What You Believe, the studious, observant, and sensitive Christian should be able to finally answer the following important (and essential) questions concerning their Faith, namely:

Q: Did Jesus die on the cross for your sins?

A: Of course He did, Stupid! And after reading this book by Paul E. Little, Know What You Believe, you need not doubt the historicity or veracity of the event; the event, in fact, overarching all of "His-story," corroborated by that blasphemous, unbelieving Jew, Josephus (who believed that the messiah hadn't come) ever again.

Q: Is Jesus the Son of God?

A: Is Obama (or Sarah Palin) the anti-Christ? Hmm?

Q: Did Jesus rise from the dead three days after He was crucified? - on Easter Sunday?

A: Duh! Do bunny rabbits multiply fast? Faster than, say, autistic savants? Heck yes they do, Dummie!

Q: Was the Virgin Mary a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus? That is, did Joseph, Mary's husband, not once, prior to Jesus' birth in Bethlehem, hot and bothered and all horndoggie as he must've been as a teen at his sexual peak, during the time preceding Mary's Immaculate Conception, insert what must've been his throbbing, pent-up, about ready to explode like Mount Vesuvius', Unit, into her Holy Who-Ha?

A: In lieu of possibly spoiling the answer, let me ask you something else, Christian: Do rivers flow downstream? Does the sun set in the West?

Q: Do the righteous (those who claim Jesus Christ as their Saviour) go to Heaven, while the unrighteous (those who deny Jesus Christ as their Saviour) go to Hell?

A: Do horses neigh? Do pigs oink? Does sulphur and brimstone stink to high heaven?

Lots of other quality questions get answered unequivocally too, in Paul E. Little's, Know What You Believe, like, "Why Haphazard Evil and Meaningless Human Suffering and Surreptitious Sickness and Disease and Death and all kinds of other Arbitrary Injustices the world over are all really good for you ...God's Honest, to Biblical Truth!"

After reading this book, the Christian will finally know what they believe (finally, thank Yahweh!) and no longer need to pretend that they know what they believe and, in pretending that they know what they believe, piss their profligate, Hellbound neighbors, friends, co-workers, family, acquaintances, and anonymous passersby on the bus or subway or in the elevator not at all interested in having the unsolicited and misrepresented Gospel shoved down their unrepentant throats again, off incessantly.

Buy Know What You Believe today! Read it and believe it, Brothers and Sisters, then go buy Paul E. Little's handy-dandy accompanying volume, Know Why You Believe, so you'll then know why you believe what you believe, because when you finally know the multitude of what you believe and all the multivaried reasons why you believe it, you'll be a better Believer for it, and perhaps able then to leap the Empire State Buidling in a single bound! Ha! Like a SuperBeliever!

And let me sell tell you something, People, if you're bitter...God can make you better! Amen? Preach it, Brother? All right, then, I will!

Knowledge is power, as they say. So go and buy Know What You Believe to-day, and then come tomorrow, you'll (check this out) Know Why You Believe it! Exciting stuff! Praise the Lord? Amen? Because if you don't be-lieve it, My Friend, you can't re-ceive it! Do you understand that this is God's plan? And if you can't re-ceive it? Well, you won't be-lieve it, will you? And without Faith (and Faith is synonymous with Be-lief) it is impossible (did I just say "impossible"? Did you just hear me say "impossible"? It's what I said, right? And I said it because it's the truth! And where the truth is there can be no Serpent's a-lying in wait, amen?). Without faith it is impossible to please God! Impossible! And if you're not pleasing God (have you not been pleasing God lately in all your thoughts, attitudes and actions?) then I don't really need to tell you all who it is you're pleasing, do I? What'chu want to be pleasing that deceiving Fiend that slithers like a snake across your soul, the Accuser of the Brethren, for, huh?