Before
O Brother Where Art Thou there was
Deliverance.
It's
Dante's Inferno meets
Hee Haw!
Virgil, armed with bow and arrow meets gap-toothed vigilantes with guns.
It's
The Odyssey in canoes floating downstream through Georgia wilderness.
Backwoods inbreeding makes banjo virtuoso out of intellectually disabled young boy.
Did the young boy with the banjo ever try out for Hee Haw! and get hisself rejected?
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| First printing, 1970 |
It takes a strong steady hand when the arrow is pulled back taut and the target -- a murderous hillbilly -- needs to step back just a little closer ... a little closer ... Keep holding the bow don't lose your grip keep aim ... a little closer ... let it loose ... woo-wee! Murderous hillbilly's got himself an arrow shot clean through his neck. Damn thing is so stuck in his neck he cain't even grab it out. That's a dead hillbilly-would-be-sodomizer-mother fucker there. Good shot, canoer turned cliff-clinger in the dead of night and hid out in a tree so that the hillbill's with the guns couldn't just pick you off from their perches on cliffs overlooking the creek. You killed him. Killed him good.
Fuckers got one of your guys, though. Not to mention making Ned Beauty their personal ho. Bastards made 'em squeal like a pig. Which just makes me realize right now that these backwards brutes undoubtedly had their way with those live hind pork quarters in the pig pen out back their hovels and camps in the mosquito swarming mud scuz ponds. The pig fuckers got there due though. Sunk the bastards in the swamp off the creek. The whole creek's being dammed; nobody'll ever know. Just get the fuck out of the canyon fast before more of those crazy hillbilly motherfuckers with or without those iconic plucking banjos show up and point more guns in your face and pick off another of your friends. Brave those rapids, boys. Won't be easy over them waterfalls. Will the sirens show up? You may shipwreck, but you've got to try, downstream is your only escape out of this Georgia creek Hades full of deformed half-men half demons bent on sodomy and murder. Get to the town. You'll be safe. But what will you tell the sheriff there? What'll you tell the sheriff there when he wonders aloud those two woodsmen are missing; what would you boy know about that? Them is good boys and they didn't come back home last two nights. How long you been out on that creek, you say? And you didn't hear nothing; you didn't see nothing.
No sir.
You boys best leave your contact information here with us. Something's awful fishy, but I'll be damned if I can put my finger right on it. You sure you boys are levelling with me? You got something more you might like to add to what you saw what you heard all those days out there on the creek in the brush? You really didn't see those boys out there their old ladies say they ain't been home in days; their old ladies say they was heading down to the creek, they heard some gunshots, but you all three nodding at me like that didn't know hyde nor hair of them, is that it? They didn't bother you and you maybe didn't take the law into your own hands, something like that?
No Sir.
Well I'm not sure I believe you, but I cain't prove it, none of it, 'sall jus hearsay as far as I's concerned; so you boys just get the hell out of this county right quick if you don't mind, and I sure as perfume won't never make a pig clean, don't never want to see you here again. Do you understand me? I'll arrest all your sorry asses I see you here again. I'll just trump up some charges, see, the local folk'll demand it, especially if those poor boys don't home here right quick.
We'll be leaving right now, Sheriff, if you're done questioning us.
Yeah, I'm done. You all just get the fuck outta here right now before I change my mind.
And that's Deliverance by James Dickey, who also wrote the screenplay for the film.
Here's the Original Theatrical Trailer.
Here's the
Dueling Banjos
.
After
Deliverance, you'll never oink like a pig the same way again.
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